Have you been accused of things in your life and have walked away not knowing how to deal with what you've been accused of, or how to deal with the person who is doing the accusing?
How do we deal with an accuser? When dealing with an accuser, the finger-pointing, the blame and what is worse, the guilt they can put on people is awful. The accuser can make a person feel horrible. They can rope someone in with their guilt. After being accused the person can feel sick with the negative emotions. These accusations will make the normal person soul search and then all the focus becomes on them. And guess what? That is what the accuser wants. They want all the focus turned and not on them.
The accuser does not look in the mirror. The accuser wants all the wrong doing on who they are accusing. All the blame is on the accused. All the guilt is on the accused. All the shortcomings are on the accused. All the errors are blamed on the accused. The accusers do not do anything wrong in their mind. It is all the accused, no matter what.
The accuser actually enjoys the controversy, and they are good at it.
I would like to point out here that Satan's name means "accuser" or "adversary" in Hebrew. That is something to think about when dealing with an accuser. Some accuser's do not know they are being used. The shortcomings in their life could be causing them to be an open target to be used by the real accuser. Not making excuses here for people who go around accusing and blaming, but this information can help the accused to go on and forgive.
The accuser is someone who accuses. For the most part they are liars, - I do believe some believe they are telling the truth, - and they only see the situation one way, their way. Remember they do not look in the mirror and to make themselves look and feel better we are the one with all the errors in our life. Our life will be picked apart bit by bit by an accuser.
In my past, I have dealt with this type of person in a big way at least twice, I've looked in the mirror to search myself, what did I do? What could I have done different? I would feel so bad for things I didn't even do. I do think it is good to check yourself. To make sure we are being the best person we can be but we are not to stay there. We need to move on and get out from under their guilt, blame and all our 'supposed' shortcomings. I have always thought we could help the accuser's, - my mistake. I thought maybe I could be nice enough or a good enough friend to help them and change their mind about people or myself. That is how I was sucked in to help and be the friend. Well, I am here to tell you it never worked. I just gave them another person to accuse, to blame and to talk about.
The accuser can only change if they want to change. They have to be the deciding factor in that. And then I do believe they will need God's help because none of us can do this alone.
What do we do when we are accused or dealing with an accuser? I recommend walking away without defending ourself, or being dragged into a weird back and forth situation that we will not win, - and if that is not possible, set up great bounderies with how we will deal with the situation that will be healthy for all involved. We are not going to be able to deal with them or fix them. We are not going to be able to help them. And more important we can go on with our life and not be hindered by what they are dumping on us. Think about all long it takes to get over accusations. And most important, remember the accuser needs to want to change to have healthy growth in their life.
The one thing I have learned as a 'rule of life' is that the accuser is usually the guilty party of all that they accuse.
Move on, be the best person you can be, and walk away from all the accusations in your life!
Smiles to your day,
Having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 1 Peter 3:16
Recommended reading, Separate Yourself From the Accuser by Ginae Lee Scott
www.ginaeleescott.com Photo credit: purpleslog